Blingualism

"Do Dead People Watch You Shower? And other questions you've been all but dying to ask a medium" by Concetta Bertoldi.

I went through all the questions but not one of them was "Are you truly deluded or do you know you're just doing cold readings?"

The closest they got was "How do you deal with skeptics?" and she related a couple readings she did. Then later, she claims not to remember readings...

Sigh.

I need a bath now.

"Soothing Methods in Statistics"

Well, if any field needed them, it'd be statistics...

"The Five Pillars of Tom"

"Soup of Christ"

Just try not to catch it.

Me: "her: @Him Just you weight - this ding isn't over by a dong shot." oowwwww. owwwwwwwwwwwww.
Him: yeah. She was proud of that one. She posted that one on her own blog.
Me: Analog is created. lovely. Digital have fun?
Him: (points out previous pun war involving insects)
Me: So it was timer bugs, huh? The pun's afoot, Watson and I'll be there! We're kinda in gnomon's land, aren't we? (god, I have to stop! Watch me try!)
Him: we really are. I already used "stop" :)
Me: did you use stop watch?
Him: no. carry on. I do have to admit, this sort of thing doesn't really have any big benefits.
Me: I'm bailey keeping up. I guess you're going to bed. Sure, ditch me. that's fine.
Him: I guess "doge's palace" would be a bit hard to work in.
Me: or campagnale or whatever it is. That's okay: noone will notice.
Him: ouch
Me: heheheh
Him: chime going to bed
Me: ha! don't let the bed bugs bite. annnnnnd scene. Westminster your wounds tomorrow, okay? (damn. Never could tell when my time was up.) (My timing's completely off.)

"Divorce: Opposing Viewpoints" (by Mike Wilson)

"Arthur's Family Vacation" by Marc Brown
"Our Sexuality" by Crooks & Baur.

It's just wrong. But they're in transit to another library. Oh, heck. I hope they're not on hold for the same patron!

I'm sure if you Google this, you can listen to it somewhere. I haven't listened yet. But I love the lyrics.

( With apologies to anyone's Friends Page I may have swamped )

It's a picture book with green and yellow and blue and grey and red...

"Colors We Don't Talk About" by qacdefeej

Puce, industrial green, bile yellow, and Uncle Bob.

Because SO MUCH has changed recently. It's about time someone did this book!

From: NestleForeignTrade@casupport.com <nestleforeigntrade@casupport.com>
Subject: Response from Nestlé Case ID: 12345678
To: "qacdefeej" <qacdefeej@qacdefeej.com>
Date: Wednesday, May 6, 2009, 1:20 PM
May 6, 2009

Dear Ms. Qacdefeej,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Yorkie™ regarding statement on our products. We welcome questions and comments from loyal consumers such as yourself and appreciate this opportunity to assist you.

We have read your email and researched your inquiry. Our Yorkie™ bar does include the statement, “Not for girls” on its label. This statement was not intended to offend or be discriminatory; it is a Marketing strategy produced specifically and geared towards blue-collar males residing in the United Kingdom. Feedback of this nature is very important to us, and your comments will be shared with our Marketing team.

At Nestle, we are dedicated to you and your family throughout every phase of your lives. Your feedback is valuable to us, as it helps us to improve our products and services.

We appreciate your interest in our products and hope you will visit our website often for the latest information on our products and promotions.

Sincerely,
Some Poor Schmuck Who Has To Put Up With Crap From People Like Me
Consumer Response Representative



Dear SPSWHTPUWCFPLM,

Thank you for your prompt reply. I appreciate your response. I'm still worried though: is the item safe for women to eat?

Many thanks for all your help with this,

Qac



May 7, 2009

Dear Ms. Qacdefeej,

Thank you for taking the time to contact Yorkie™ regarding our packaging. We welcome questions and comments from loyal consumers such as yourself and appreciate this opportunity to assist you.

While the slogan on the label states that is not for girls, our Yorkie™ bars are absolutely safe for women and girls to eat.

We appreciate your interest in our products and hope you will visit our website often for the latest information on our products and promotions.

Sincerely,
That Same Poor Schmuck Who Has To Put Up With Crap From People Like Me
Consumer Response Representative

"I just thought it looked neat."

"Besides last time I went produce shopping in England, I couldn't find two fresh vegetables to rub together."

What an odd hobby!

http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/reviews/Ploughmans-Lunch-231649?pg=2

"The Child as Caesarean Thinker"

No, wait, let me read that again --

"The Child as Christian Thinker"

No, that doesn't work, either, hang on...

"Motivating Your Clown"

I discovered a copy of a PostSecret book waiting to be shelved. If you're not familiar with this project, please go here: http://postsecret.blogspot.com/. I flipped through it because they're always entertaining. And I discovered, tucked into the pages, the following note: "I have thought about you every day since we were 15 years old. I think that you know that I like you. Now that we attend the same college, I'm yearning for the day that you will ask me out. Please ask me!!"

People are adding their secrets to the PostSecret book! I love that!

There are two more: "I feel more connected to the people who wrote these secrets than some ppl I've known for years." (Written on the check out slip but lacking any patron ID) And "I should be studying but I'm not.... and I'm OK with that!" (Smile, books and 'no books' sign).

I couldn't help myself and I wrote on the back of the first note, "C'mon! Ask HIM out!"

And here's my secret. I think I know who wrote the first note.

Me: It's very soothing inside a potato bag. You'd think it'd be uncomfortable
Him: I imagine it is
Me: but there's something about the dirt smell that's very, well... grounding.
Him: brings you back to earth
Me: gets to the root of the problem.
Him: I'm just glad you didn't soil yourself. you didn't, did you?
Me: Eye did not!
Him: good. If you had, you'd probably have tubern your clothes.
Me: You got a chip on your shoulder or something?
Him: Idaho
Me: You Yankee. The South shall fries again!
Him: and I was just about to write you a mash note, too.
Me: To me? Or Julienne? You could send me a rose spud... So have we killed Mr. Potato Head?
Him: I believe we have.
Me: it was losing it's a peel anyway. ba da BOOM!
Him: well that's just grate. though some of your puns were just gratin.
Me: eh, it's no skin off my nose.

This is the Dr Who episode where the people get stuck on the expressway and if they get into the fast lane, they're eaten by giant crabs. The expressway is under New New York and it gets sealed when most of the Earth dies and declares a quarantine so no one comes in to help.

While I can overlook that the cars are full of people with various English accents, car 'spotters' and even a fellow in typical British business garb, why the hell are all the steering wheels on the right side?

Just askin'...